Activity

Time

Basis

Cost

Go to Wal-Mart

5 min

Mileage

$0.70

Gas

$0.36

Grab oil & filter

5 min

7 quarts

$6.65

1 filter

$4.95

Tax

$0.70

Drive home

5 min

Mileage

$0.70

Gas

$0.36

Find oil pan

2 min

Clean oil spill from residue in pan

5 min

Paper Towels

$0.25

Kitty litter

$0.80

Find filter wrench

1 min

Find socket & driver

1 min

Open hood

10 sec

Crawl under suburban

30 sec

Hit head on underside

.1 sec

Place pan under plug

10 sec

Place socket on plug

5 sec

Discover it's stuck

1 sec

Try to force plug

30 sec

Break the nuts hold

.1 sec

Bloody knuckles

.1 sec

Discover oil stream is over pan

.5 sec

Move pan under stream

2 sec

Crawl out from under

30 sec

Hit head (again)

.1 sec

Go inside

1 min

Find band aid

2 min

$0.45

Clean hands

1 min

Get anther band-aid a first is coated in oil

10 sec

$0.45

Try to open Band-Aid with wet hands

30 sec

Put on Band-Aid

15 sec

Pick up Band-Aid (didn't stick to wet hands)

5 sec

Dry hands

15 sec

Get 3rd Band-Aid

5 sec

$0.45

Put on Band-Aid

15 sec

Clean up sink

2 min

Go back outside

30 sec

Crawl under suburban

30 sec

Discover stream slowed and is short of pan

1 sec

Move pan back to oil stream/drip

5 sec

Simultaneously drag hand through oil spill

0 sec

Wipe hand on pant leg

5 sec

Try to screw oil plug back into the pan

5 sec

Drop plug into oil pan

.1 sec

Fish plug out of pan

10 sec

Realize the oil is still hot

.5 sec

Quickly pull hand out of pan

.3 sec

Hit hand on oil pan

.1 sec

Knock off Band-Aid

.1 sec

Drop plug into pan

.1 sec

Reach back in and grab plug

2 sec

Successfully pull plug out

.5 sec

Quietly cry due to 2nd degree burns on right hand

10 sec

Screw plug into pan

10 sec

Reach for socket

20 sec

Realize socket is by my foot

1 sec

Attempt to kick socket up to hand

5 sec

Hit right knee on the running board

.1 sec

Imitate Yosemite Sam

10 sec

Crawl down to socket

5 sec

Crawl back to oil pan

5 sec

Place socket on plug

3 sec

Tighten plug

2 sec

Hit pan with socket

.1 sec

Splash oil on hair

.1 sec

Try to get away from scalding hot oil

.1 sec

Hit head on car

.1 sec

Crawl out from under car

5 sec

Drag oil pan out

5 sec

Walk to front of car

5 sec

Examine the engine for filter location

2 min

Reach down with left hand for filter

2 sec

Burn hand on filter

.1 sec

Grab filter wrench

1 sec

Manipulate wrench to get around filter

15 sec

Attempt to loosen it

10 sec

Force filter loose

.1 sec

Hit hand on radiator

.1 sec

Discover both hands have bloody knuckles

1 sec

Grab towel

2 sec

Reach down with towel and loosen filter

10 sec

Drop fully loosen filter

.1 sec

Hit left foot with filter

.1 sec

Quick lift left foot

.1 sec

Hit left knee on front bumper

.1 sec

Hop around like a bloomin' idiot

5 sec

Attempt to get new filter out of box

15 sec

Give up and tear box open

1 sec

Get paper cut

.1 sec

Grab a bottle of oil

5 sec

Open oil bottle

2 sec

Dab a drop of oil on finger

1 sec

Place bottle on ground

2 sec

Bead new filter with a mixture of oil & blood

2 sec

Install new filter

15 sec

Kick open bottle of oil over

.1 sec

Quickly bend over to grab bottle

.1 sec

Hit head on grill

.1 sec

Grab half empty bottle of oil

.1 sec

Remove oil cap

5 sec

Fill crankcase with half bottle of oil

30 sec

While:

Watching spill residue drip down outside of case

Opening another bottle of oil

Peel off contest flap to be asked to "play again"

Switch empty bottle of oil with full (6 times)

6 mins

Pull final bottle out

1 sec

Knock oil cap off of engine block

.1 sec

Search for cap

3 mins

Find and grab cap on rocker arm

5 sec

Wipe cap clean

10 sec

Place cap on block and tighten

5 sec

Walk to driver's side

10 sec

Start car

5 sec

Idle car

30 sec

Turn off car

1 sec

Return to front of car

10 sec

Pull out dip stick

5 sec

Clean dip stick

5 sec

Place dip stick back in

5 sec

Pull dip stick out again

5 sec

Attempt to read dipstick

15 sec

Realize I need reading glasses

.1 sec

Hold stick as far back as possible

3 sec

Discover I'm half a quart short

1 sec

Remember the half spilt quart

.1 sec

Ponder whether to:

30 sec

a Walk to Wal-Mart

b Wait for wife to come home to drive to Wal-Mart

c Drive to Wal-Mart even though I'm a half quart short.

Decide:

a My left foot and both knees are killing me and my knuckles are still bleeding, and there's no way I'm walking

b I'm not giving my wife the satisfaction of knowing I'm having trouble changing the oil as she suggested taking the car to get the oil changed.

c Figure, what the heck, it can't be THAT bad can it? After all the wife drives her car for 3000 miles w/o checking the oil, EVER.

Drive to Wal-Mart

5 min

Mileage

$0.70

Gas

$0.36

Get pulled over by police as entering parking lot

5 sec

Explain to office that the engine isn't on fire but just burning off the excess oil due to the oil that was knocked over

30 sec

Answer his question of "Why didn't you take the car into get the oil changed" in what I believed was an appropriate manner

5 sec

Listen to an explanation of what disorderly conduct is

90 sec

Thank the office nicely

15 sec

Park the car

30 sec

Grab single bottle of oil

5 min

1 Quart

$0.95

Tax

$0.05

Go back to parking lot

30 sec

Open hood

10 sec

Remove oil cap carefully putting it on bumper

10 sec

Pour half the bottle into crack case

30 sec

Put cap back on bottle

5 sec

Put oil cap back on

10 sec

Close hood

5 sec

Look at half empty oil bottle

1 sec

Notice parked police car nearby

1 sec

Decide better

1 sec

Place bottle in to receptacle

5 sec

Drive home

5 min

Mileage

$0.70

Gas

$0.36

Notice wife is home and park in street

10 sec

Search for oil pan

15 sec

Discover it just under wife front right tire

1 sec

Shrug and head inside

10 sec

Greeted by wife saying; "I noticed some oil in the driveway. Is the car leaking?"

5 sec

Smile and gently kiss wife on forehead

2 sec

Wipe oil/blood residue on wife's forehead

1 sec

Grab a beer out of fridge

10 sec

$1.00

Deposit

$0.05

Head back outside

30 sec

Back wife's car up

30 sec

Grab empty milk jug

5 sec

Carefully pour oil remaining in bent pan in jug

30 sec

Enjoy the fact I didn't spill a drop

10 sec

Realize that the oil is still hot enough to melt the plastic of the milk jug

1 sec

Quick run melting leaking jug to garbage can

1.3 sec

Drop molten jug into garbage can

.1 sec

Grab kitty little bag

5 sec

Pour entire bag onto oil spill

15 sec

$2.15

Let oil seep into litter/chug beer

30 sec

Scoop up litter and pour into garbage can

30 sec

Pull dent out of pan

15 sec

Discover spilt oil on shirt

.1 sec

Put pan and tools away

2 mins

Go inside

30 sec

Drop clothes into washer

45 sec

Add detergent

5 sec

$0.50

Turn washer on

5 sec

Water

$0.05

Electric

$0.25

Walk stark naked up to shower, wave to wife

15 sec

Turn on shower

5 sec

Test water

5 sec

Step in shower

2 sec

Freeze was washer pulls hot water

5 sec

Turn temperature up in shower

5 sec

Get scalded as washer stops pulling hot water

3 sec

Turn water back down

2 sec

Complete shower

3 min

Water

$0.05

Soap

$0.10

Shampoo

$0.20

Dry off

30 sec

Put clean clothes on

2 min

Join wife downstairs

30 sec

===========================================

========

========

Totals

67 mins

$23.29

Activity

Time

Basis

Cost

Drop car off at dealership on the way to work

2 min

$0.00

Grab a Crispy Creme donut

5 sec

FREE!

Get a courtesy ride to work

(same as everyday)

FREE!

Work

(same as everyday)

Get a courtesy ride from work

(same as everyday)

FREE!

Grab a Crispy Creme donut

5 sec

FREE!

Pay for oil change

2 mins

Cost

$21.99

Tax

$1.32

Pick up keys and hop in car

50 sec

===========================================

========

=======

Totals

5 mins

$23.31