Hallmark’s Castoffs
FoxNews.com published an article yesterday listing some of Hallmark’s “Castoff” cards that didn’t make the cut.
While definately not mainstream, as Hallmark requires, still pretty funny.
Christmas Cards
FRONT: “Spread some holiday cheer.”
INSIDE: “Or drink alone. Who am I to judge?”
FRONT: “Christmas just wouldn’t be the same without peanut brittle.”
INSIDE: “Or Jesus.”
Birthday cards
FRONT: ”My ex-girlfriend had a cat named Love because she said that’s what it gave her.”
INSIDE: ”So I called it Bloody Forearms. Hope no one gets you a cat for your birthday.”
Wedding and engagement greetings
FRONT: ”Did I hear wedding bells?”
INSIDE: ”Or was that the natural disaster siren? Sometimes I get them confused. Whatever it was, it was loud. Congratulations … or take cover!”
FRONT: ”Marriage is a bond that is unbreakable except by two-thirds of the population.”
INSIDE: ”But it’s you top-third couples that give the rest of us hope.”
Get well cards
FRONT: (Big smiley face)
INSIDE: “Hi! Welcome back from your coma!”
For mom
FRONT: ”When I think of you, Mom, I swell with pride.”
INSIDE: ”At least I hope it’s pride. Otherwise, I’m pregnant again.”
