Hospital Chart Bloopers
Actual writings from hospital charts
- The patient refused autopsy.
- The patient has no previous history of suicides.
- Note: Patient recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
- Patient experiences chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
- On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
- The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears depressed.
- This patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
- Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-yr. old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
- Discharge status: alive but without permission.
- Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
- She is numb from her toes down.
- While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
- The skin was moist and dry.
- Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
- Patient was alert and unresponsive.
- Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
- She stated that she had been constipated most of her life, until she got a divorce.
- I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
- The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
- Patient has two teen-age children, but no other abnormalities.
- The patient was circus-sized.
