Ramblings of a Jackhole

Back in September the Roanoke paper reported that a Ms. Melissa Williamson, 35, was indignent about street construction noise outside her home in southeast Roanoke. Ms. Williamson was especially concerned abou the jackhammers, which she fully believed would have a harmful effect on her unborn child, which was seven months along. However, as shown in the attached picture, Ms. Williams aparently has blowing a bit of smoke as she was shown smoking a cigarette. After all, if she truly cared about her child’s health due to the construction noise, she certainly wouldn’t be smoking.

Of course, this story ignited a firestorm of reader mail (no pun intended). I’m sure someone will propose a law soon.

The Daily Iowan reported today that former UI teaching assistant Frederick “Dick” Williams forced her to watch him mastrubate after telling him that she “would do anything to get a better grade in the class in which she was struggling but was required to pass for her nursing major.”

Frederick Williams gave her the option of a “two-minute plan” where she would sit next to a naked Williams and touch his penis or a “five minute plan” where he would sit naked, but further away from her while she watched him please himself.

“He had his arm around my chair, and he kept asking me if I’d ever seen this before,” she said. “He then put my hand on his penis and told me to squeeze,” she said, adding that he ejaculated into her hand and a handkerchief. “I told him that was disgusting, and he said, ‘I’m sorry’ and that he didn’t want to take my virginity.”

Thomas’ defense denies that the alleged event ever happened.

However, anonymous sources have reported to the Jackhole that the woman’s grade was raised to a “C mynuts.”

DULUTH, Minn. – An exasperated resident turned the tables on a company that hounded him with telemarketing calls, calling it more than 100 times in two days.

Marc Plaisted said he started calling Minnesota Auto Glass after the St. Peter-based company’s telemarketers called him up to three times a day — even after he asked them not to.

Plaisted had figured the calls would stop when he signed on to Minnesota’s “do-not-call” list months ago.

“I’m following the law and asking them to be taken off the list and they ignore me and then, on top of it, start swearing at me,” he said. “That was where they flipped the switch with me and I said, ‘Enough is enough. I’m going after you guys now.”

Plaisted started calling the Minnesota Auto Glass’s Duluth office last Thursday, and placed more than 100 calls, he said.

“I just called them every five minutes and let them know that, no, I don’t have a crack in my windshield, because this seems to be something they are very concerned about,” Plaisted said.

A Minnesota Auto Glass manager in Duluth said Plaisted’s number had been removed from its list and that proof of the removal would be put in writing.

Yahoo News