Ramblings of a Jackhole

Domain names can be get ways to advertise. However, one cannot get a domain name with a space. People have tried, with minimal success to use hypens or Underscores for their domain name but that is confusing for many in their target market. So, simply combine the two or more words of your company’s name or tagline that you’re ready to roll right? Not always. Unfortunately the combined words may be able to be split backup in other ways.

See below.

The top 10 unintentionally worst company URLs.

1. A site called “Who Represents” where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name. seroiusly. is www.whorepresents.com.

2. Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com. These experts are no fools and have changed to www.experts-exchange.com. However a record of the old site is at The Wayback Machine.
3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net.

4. Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com

5. Then of course, there’s the Italian Battery company, www.powergenitalia.com. Wisely, they have changed their domain name to www.batterychargerpowergen.it, but the wayback machine maintains a record of the original site.

6. And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com.

7. If you’re looking for computer software to find your Internet Protocol address, there’s always www.ipanywhere.com.

8. Welcome to the First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is www.cummingfirst.com. However I view this one as just another means for a church to reach a few more sinners that might be surfing the web.

9. Then, of course, there’s these brainless art designers, and their whacky, blinking, and annoying website: www.speedofart.com. Did I mention how annoying this website is for a bunch of supposed “artists”?

10. Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com. Well it is in Nevada after all so the dual meaning may be intentional!

Actual writings from hospital charts

1. The patient refused autopsy.
2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.
3. Note: Patient recovering from forehead cut. Patient became very angry when given an enema by mistake.
4. Patient experiences chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.
5. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.
6. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears depressed.
7. This patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.
8. Healthy-appearing decrepit 69-yr. old male, mentally alert but forgetful.
9. Discharge status: alive but without permission.
10. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.
11. She is numb from her toes down.
12. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated, and sent home.
13. The skin was moist and dry.
14. Occasional, constant, infrequent headaches.
15. Patient was alert and unresponsive.
16. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.
17. She stated that she had been constipated most of her life, until she got a divorce.
18. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.
19. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.
20. Patient has two teen-age children, but no other abnormalities.
21. The patient was circus-sized.

There was an unexpected knock on my door, and like I always do I first opened
the peephole and asked, “Who’s there?”

“Parcel post, sir. I have a package that needs a signature.”

“Where’s the package?” I asked suspiciously.

The deliveryman held it up.

“Could I see some ID?” I said, still not convinced.

“Buddy,” he replied wearily, “if I wanted to break into your house, I’d probably just use these” and pulled out the keys I had left in the door.

Mrs. Applebee, the 6th grade teacher, posed the following problem to one of her arithmetic classes:

“A wealthy man dies and leaves ten million dollars. One-fifth is to go to his wife, one-fifth is to go to his son, one-sixth to his butler, and the rest to charity. Now, what does each get?”

After a very long silence in the classroom, Little Morris raised his hand. The teacher called on Little Morris for his answer. With complete sincerity in his voice, Little Morris answered, “A lawyer!”

From the Washington Post Style Invitational, in which it was postulated that English should have male and female nouns as many other languages have, and readers were asked to assign a gender to a noun of their choice and explain their reasoning.
Here are the best submissions:

• SWISS ARMY KNIFE – male, because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.
• KIDNEYS – female, because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.
• TIRE – male, because it goes bald and often is over inflated.
• HOT AIR BALLOON – male, because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it … and, of course, there’s the hot air part.
• SPONGES – female, because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.
• WEB PAGE – female, because it is always getting hit on.
• SHOE – male, because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.
• COPIER – female, because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.
• ZIPLOC BAGS – male, because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.
• SUBWAY – male, because it uses the same old lines to pick people up.
• HOURGLASS – female, because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom.
• HAMMER – male, because it hasn’t evolved much over the last 5,000 years, but it’s handy to have around.
• REMOTE CONTROL – female…Ha! You thought I’d say male. But consider that it gives man pleasure, he’d be lost without it, and while he doesn’t always know the right buttons to push, he keeps trying.